okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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