he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
