I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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