Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
