ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize