K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
