Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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