OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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