dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
