he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
