You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
