She's like a pop up book from hell.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
