i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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