so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize