you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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