she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
