I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
