i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
