Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
