WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
