That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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