Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
