my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
