I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
