How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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