I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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