Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize