Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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