I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
