i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
