omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
