why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I party with great urgency now.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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