I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
