i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
