i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
