I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
