so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
