Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize