can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
