I'm gonna have a badass scar
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
