Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
