You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just cropdusted the office
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
