just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
