I smell stomach acid.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
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