I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
