is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
