I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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