Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize