there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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