there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize