hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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