I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
where am i from again
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
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