Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
