Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
