You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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