Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
