What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
smell my finger.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
