4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize