how can u be prego again
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
